Matt: (to the tune of “I’m in love with a stripper”) I’m in love with Nutella

Me: We’re going to need a lot of coffee
Matt: We should buy a carton of espresso, take pulls and chase it with milk

Alex: I love drunk Spanish

Alex: (About him, Griffin, and David making dinner) We’re preparing for the trophy husband life, we know our place

Alex: You know how pasta water gets all pasta watery?

Alex: The pigeon had gotten itself stuck in the display case window and no one wanted to pick it up.
Griffin: Yeah, because it could have diseases
Alex: Or bad credit…